You can't wear a red dress and shame a living woman!

What happens when a First Nations woman speaks out?

Not in anger. Not for attention. But out of truth. Out of survival. Out of love for her community and for herself?

Let me tell you what happens—because I am that woman.

I was born into Treaty. Grew up on the rez. I carry a family name that some people whisper about. Not always kindly. I’ve been bullied for that name. I've felt the sting of exclusion, the weight of judgment, and the sharp bite of mistreatment by people in positions of power—including Chief and Council.

But I’m still here. Still speaking.

And the more I speak, the more I realize something painful and real:

You can’t wear a red dress for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (MMIWG), and then shame a living woman for telling her truth.

Because the numbers don’t lie.

Indigenous women are 12 times more likely to be murdered or go missing than any other women in Canada.— Final Report of the National Inquiry into MMIWG, 2019

1 in 3 Indigenous women will experience sexual violence in their lifetime.— Statistics Canada

We hold ceremonies. We wear red dresses. We say no more stolen sisters. But some of those same people turn around and mock, gaslight, and tear down Indigenous women who are still here. Still breathing. Still trying to heal.

Where’s the protection then?

Where’s the community then?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Whether you’re honest or quiet. Whether you go live or keep to yourself. Whether you show up with fire or with softness—some people will find a reason to speak against you.

So now, I don’t let it shake me. I don’t read comment sections when they spiral into back-and-forth negativity. That’s called self-care.

And the beautiful thing about the internet? You can choose not to watch a video. You can choose not to comment. You can choose not to react.

But if you do choose to react, at least ask yourself: Is this about the message—or the discomfort it brings up in me?

We Need to Talk About These Contradictions

There’s a deep contradiction in how some of our own treat Indigenous women who speak out.

You can stand in a red dress vigil and cry tears for those who are gone……but if you attack or dismiss a woman who’s still here—telling you what harmed her, telling you who hurt her, telling you how systems failed her—then you’re part of the problem.

Colonialism taught our communities to fear disruption. It taught us to stay quiet, to protect "reputation," to avoid challenging authority. But the truth is, the Indian Act itself is a colonial tool.

It was passed in 1876, and it still controls:

• Who is eligible to become a "status-indian"

• Who can run for Chief and Council

• How elections are held

• Who has the right to live on reserve

  
  

“The Indian Act continues to be the most significant piece of legislation governing First Nations people—yet it was designed without our input, to control and assimilate us.”— Indigenous Foundations, UBC

Many bands use Custom Election Codes, but even those must follow federal standards. That’s why Band Member Rights exist—to create transparency in a system that often lacks it.

Know Your Rights: Resources for Band Members

Section 35 of the Constitution Act, 1982

Recognizes and affirms the existing Aboriginal and treaty rights of Indigenous peoples.

• Section 35 gives constitutional protection to rights that pre-date colonization.

• These are inherent rights, not rights “given” by Canada.

  
  

Learn more:

• Justice Canada: Section 35

• UBC Indigenous Foundations – Aboriginal Rights

  
  

The Indian Act (1876 - present):

Governs reserve life, band leadership, land, and status.

• Know your legal structure to know how to push back against it.

  
  

Read:

• Indian Act full text

• Yellowhead Institute: Indian Act 101

  
  

Custom Election Codes

If your Nation uses one, it should be publicly available and created with community input.

Indigenious Services Canada (ISC): Election Procedures for First Nations

First Nations Financial Transparency Act (FNFTA)

Requires Chiefs and Councils to publish:

• Salaries, expenses

• Audited band financials

  
  

Search your Nation: FNFTA Profiles

Other Tools & Advocacy Groups

• Yellowhead Institute: Indigenous-led policy think tank

• FNGC: First Nations Governance Centre

• TRC Calls to Action

• UNDRIP

  
  

I don’t speak out just for me. I speak out because I sought understanding—in education, in legislation, in our lived realities. I wanted to know how things work so I could understand the world around me, and choose to forge the path less taken. It hasn't been easy, but it has been the most rewarding.

I’m Not Here to Be Liked

I’m here to be honest. To be accountable to the truth, not to the comfort of others. I won’t protect a system just because someone I know is a part of it.

If the message makes people uncomfortable, that’s okay. Discomfort is the first step to change.

So to the women who’ve been told to be quiet, who’ve been called troublemakers, who’ve been shamed while still standing:

You are not wrong for surviving. You are not wrong for speaking. You are not wrong for caring enough to challenge what hurts us.

Let’s not wait until our sisters are gone to mourn them. Let’s protect the ones still here.

With truth and resistance,

Vanessa - Proud "Rez woman"